Impulses and Magic

An impulse is a funny thing.

Sometimes occurring based on an audible suggestion or an element of one's environment, sometimes seemingly coming from nowhere at all, impulses bridge the gap between intellectual and animal, making us human.

But which impulses to listen to? And when to give in?

One cannot deny every impulse and thus lose zest, indeed lust for life.


Before my separation, I was staunch, rigid, lacking.  I only occasionally let my desires run free, knowing how damaging my unchecked torrent of emotion, sometimes lunacy, could be on my relationship.

So I suppressed it, left it bottled up, waiting to fizz over when my cap was finally removed.

And because I was holding back so much, I demanded the same from those around me, pushing away those who were too open, too free, too sinful.

Now I leave the cap off.

With more breathing room, I can give in to many impulses at home safely without upsetting anyone.  And before you get the wrong impression, here are a few recent examples of impulses I've obeyed, from the last few weeks:

• Check what my DVR recorded
• Play Magic: the Gathering
• Explore Netflix
• Finally eat that chocolate cross from last Easter
• Buy cheap cards to make a cool new Magic deck
• Verbalize my current train of thought
• Pop in a P90X disc... at 11:30 pm on a weekday...
• Do laundry
• Load the dishwasher
• Get lost acting out a daydream
• Organize the basement
• Read a Deadpool comic
• Plug in my iPod and play my "Rocking" playlist
• Play with my pet cat, throwing toys around for him
• Blog (an uncommon impulse, I know...)
• Look up more personality info
• Sing!
• Get in my car and drive, nowhere and anywhere
• Stop by the local gaming shop to chat with my friend, the asst. manager

Nothing earth-shattering. And pretty geeky, right?  But I have learned that I don't have to follow a plan rigidly to be happy.  In fact, planning definitely took a lot of fun out of life.

Now, I just kinda wander about the house when I'm bored, and I react to what I see and hear, what I could taste or touch.

And in case you're curious, my Magic decks are mostly standard legal, although I'm not interested in tournament play.  I just like the limitations imposed by only using a handful of sets.

Favorites:

• Draw/Go Burning Vengeance (R/U)
• Werewolves (R/G)
• Undead Alchemist (B/U)
• Vampires (R/B)

The deck coming soon:

• Kuldotha Goblins (R)

Other casual favorites:

• Merfolk Mill (U/W)
• Gempalm Polluter Zombies (B)
• Ninjas (U)
• Dungrove Elder (G)
• Boros Soldiers Lifegain/Burn (R/W)

And bonus, here's my favorite tournament deck (which I don't own): Obliterator Zombies (B/U)